No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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