I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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