So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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