smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I would fuck him just for his dog
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