You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Drake has all the answers
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize