what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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