Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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