Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
