I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The cops high fived after they tackled you
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
