I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize