I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
