People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
