is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize