dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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