He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
