the condom got lost in my hair
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
