I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
