I am spending my child support on dildos
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
