I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
