I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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