i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize
