I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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