what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
