If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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