he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
