I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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