Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
