Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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