I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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