At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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