i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
