I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
