i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
