Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
