didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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