She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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