I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
