Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize