I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
