She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
