you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
