i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
