you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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