Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
