How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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