She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
