you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
