Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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