where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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