Screwed.edu
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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