i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
