I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize