Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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