Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Randomize
