i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
